Half
by BelloftheSea
Summary: Dear Roy, You don't know me – and that's okay. I was the one who chose to stay away. But if I could beg a few moments of your time, and perhaps a bit more once you finish reading – there is something you should know. (AU, One-shot)


**Half**

_Dear Roy, You don't know me – and that's okay. I was the one who chose to stay away. But if I could beg a few moments of your time, and perhaps a bit more once you finish reading – there is something you should know._

* * *

**A.N. **Kind of a random idea – I'd been toying with various what if's and this… intrigued me. So I decided to try it out and see if I could make it make sense. It's largely dialogue driven at times, so you'll have to use your imaginations to fill in the gaps.

**Disclaimer:** Ed, Al, and all their friends are the property of Hiromu Arakawa. I do not own them, but am grateful for the opportunity to use them in the unleashing of my own imagination.

**Rating:** This story is rated T

* * *

1905

The letter came while he was away.

Roy read it again, for the tenth time, and then lifted his accusing stare to the woman who stood so casually behind the bar, drying a glass.

"You knew?"

"Of course I knew, Roy-Boy. I was there when they signed the papers. Poor girl was distraught when she handed you over but I think she knew it was for the best."

His aunt, Chris Mustang – his mother for all intents and purposes since he was five – had always been direct with him, always told the truth and exposed him to the realities of the world, no matter how harsh. This is why it baffled him, now, that this had remained a secret for so long.

"How old was she?"

"Couldn't have been more than fifteen."

Fifteen… it was no wonder then. While not entirely too young, without a husband to provide for her, it would have been difficult. Any plans she had made for the future would have been smothered. Of course, if it was her own fault she should have…

"How… how did she…"

"Pack of desert raiders – one of the dangers of living in the East, I suppose. Don't think she ever hated you for it though. Might've even loved you, given the chance. But a lot of folks pushed her to give you up. My brother would've done anything to give his wife the child she couldn't have – you might have well been gift-wrapped for them."

He slammed the letter down on the bar and reached for his drink. He never liked to think about his long-deceased parents. He'd been so young, there really wasn't much he could remember about them save for a few vague impressions. But their traumatic deaths still haunted his nightmares. Now… to find out that they weren't even really…

"Why did no one tell me?"

"Your folks were going to, Roy-Boy. They kept in touch with her for years, writing back and forth. Planned on having you meet her one day. But when they died and you came to me, she decided it would be best to let you go. I suppose she thought to save you from additional heartache."

"Then why tell me now?"

"Suppose you'll have to ask her if you really want to know. Course, that letter's over a year old now. Might be she don't care so much anymore."

He set his glass down and the amber liquid sloshed, catching the dim lamp light and casting a glimmer across the page.

He read it again.

_Dear Roy,_

_You don't know me – and that's okay. I was the one who chose to stay away. But if I could beg a few moments of your time, and perhaps a bit more once you finish reading – there is something you should know._

_Nineteen years ago, I became a mother. I was hardly more than a child myself at the time. I had no husband, no family to care for me and teach me what I needed to know. There was little that I could do to provide for my son, except to give him away – to a good and loving home. _

_You see, Roy – you were that boy, my child. _

_Traverse Mustang – he was a good man and his wife as well, Lillian. I gave you to them knowing that you were in good hands. I was distressed to learn of their passing and have often worried for you in the aftermath, but I do believe that you were happier in the home of your aunt than you would have been coming to live with me – a complete stranger._

_This was all so long ago. You are a man now – surely handsome and strong. I am curious to know what you have done with your life. Do you have a job, a passion, a sweetheart maybe? _

_Perhaps it is too much for me to ask. You have no obligation to me. You didn't even know of my existence until moments ago and I have no right to expect anything of you. But I cannot deny that I would like to see you – if only for a short while – to see for myself that I made the right choice all those years ago. _

_Please, do not feel obliged to come. Only, if you wish it. _

_Sincerely,_

_Trisha Elric_

The letter was dated 1904, as Madame said. He'd been away at the time of its arrival – first, still studying alchemy with his Master, Berthold Hawkeye, and then entering into the Military Academy. He was on his way towards becoming a State Alchemist. He had a grand plan to help people and change the world – make it a better place. He knew that he could do that and he didn't intend to let anything stand in his way.

Not even this.

It was a little thing really – where he came from, who had given birth to him. In the grand scheme of things, it didn't matter. It didn't change who he was and it certainly didn't change what he was going to do.

She'd said it herself – he had no obligation to her.

Except… for that nagging feeling of debt triggered by his confounded loyalty to the principle of equivalent exchange.

She'd given birth to him when she might have found some way to end it. Then she'd taken it upon herself to make sure that he was taken care of when she could have simply dumped him in some children's home. She'd cared enough to let him go when she realized that she was not the best person for the job.

He downed the last of his drink and stood, folding the letter and tucking it into the pocket of his blue, military issue, coat. He gave a nod of farewell to his aunt and waved to some of the tavern girls who were sad to see him go. He exited Madame Christmas' establishment and hailed a cab to take him to the train station.

Despite her words, he did owe her.

Besides, he could not deny that he was also curious.

* * *

Resembool was a very large and empty place.

Roy was used to cities or at least large towns. He felt completely out of place in the midst of so much… space. Hills stretched on for miles in every direction and the road he was on didn't seem to actually be headed anywhere.

He debated going back to ask for directions from a more reliable source – although one would think that the Station Director in such a small town would know where he could find Trisha Elric. The man had given Roy the strangest look and then pointed him down this dirt path.

"_End of the road. You can't miss it."_

If there was a house at the end of this road, it was invisible. Roy had seen several farm houses and cottages off to the side, up and down branching paths to his right and left. But this main road didn't seem to be headed anywhere.

A peal of boyish laughter caught his attention suddenly and Roy turned to see two small boys tearing up the road behind him. "Haha! Last one there's a rotten egg!"

"Hey! No fair, Brother! You cheated!"

"Did not! I…"

The boy stopped, both his mouth and his feet, as he noticed Roy still standing and watching them. The other boy came to a halt beside his brother and, for a moment, all three stood in complete silence. Roy couldn't help but wonder if strangers were such an oddity in this town that his mere presence had frozen two boys in their tracks.

Then the second boy offered a small, shy smile and grabbed his brother by the arm. "Come on, Brother. Let's go," he whispered.

As though pulled from a trance, the first boy started, glanced at his brother, glared at Roy, and then took off once more with a wicked grin. "Ha! Right! Can't catch me, Al!"

"Brother!"

In watching the boys disappear over the next hill, Roy noticed two strange things about them – first, that the glaring boy had held a small bouquet of flowers in his right hand, and second, that both boys had possessed the most peculiar golden eyes.

* * *

A graveyard.

Roy scowled. The look on the Station Director's face suddenly made perfect sense. But naturally, the man couldn't have been bothered to tell him directly that Trisha Elric was dead.

A wasted trip… it figured. And it made sense now that she had sent for him. She must have known she was dying and wanted to see her son before she passed. Roy tried not to let himself feel guilty for not arriving sooner. It wasn't his fault. He'd been away. But the sting of remorse settled sharply on his heart anyway.

Her grave stone was simple enough.

_Trisha Elric_

_1870 – 1904_

_Beloved Mother_

The last two words caught his attention… along with the small bouquet of fresh flowers now adorning her grave.

Those two boys… they were…

"You're him, aren't you?"

Roy turned slowly. The glaring boy and his brother now stood behind him. Those strange golden eyes danced fiercely and seemed to pierce right through to his soul.

"It might not be him. Maybe he's just a traveler." The second boy whispered.

"Yeah, right. Why would he come here – to her grave? It has to be him."

Roy frowned at the angry words. Just what had their mother told them? "And who is it that you think I am?" he asked.

The boy scowled and he spat out one word. "Roy."

"Our brother," the other supplied.

"_Half_-brother."

So they knew about him – which was more than he could say for his own knowledge about them. The letter hadn't mentioned any children, any… siblings. He hadn't been prepared for this. He wasn't good with children. These two seemed young – very young, five or six maybe. Were they twins? They looked about the same age.

"You're right." He briefly considered bending down to their level as he spoke – that was how you were supposed to talk to children, wasn't it? But the very idea seemed unnatural and those glaring eyes were still warning him away. Somehow, he felt safer standing upright. "My name is Roy Mustang. And it would seem that I am your brother – half-brother," he amended before the glaring boy could do it for him. "What are your names?"

The glaring boy only scowled harder so the other answered for him. "I'm Alphonse Elric and this is my older brother, Edward."

Older… Roy would have pegged that one for the younger if he had to choose.

"Shut up, Al! We don't have to tell him anything. He doesn't care. If he did, he would have been here."

"He's here now, Brother."

"Yeah, well, he's too late, isn't he? She's dead. She never got to see him and it's his own damn fault!"

It was strange, hearing such language from a child, but it wasn't Roy's place to scold. He ignored it and focused on the more pressing issue. "I received Trisha's letter two days ago. I came as soon as I could."

Alphonse's face lit up with hope at the words. "See, Brother. He didn't know. It's not his fault if he didn't get the letter."

Edward still seemed suspicious of Roy but his glare softened a bit. "Maybe you should check your mail more often."

* * *

"I wondered if you would ever show up. Trisha hoped you would come before she died. Those boys too – they were waiting for you." The small old woman tapped her pipe in the ashtray and looked out over the yard where Edward and Alphonse were playing with a girl about their age – Winry, they called her – and a dog with an automail leg.

Roy leaned against the porch railing and fingered the photograph in his hands. Trisha Elric had been a beautiful woman and a wonderful mother, from what he could tell. Those boys clearly loved her and suffered greatly from her loss. Roy found himself wishing he had known her.

"Why?"

"I think they hoped you could save her. Not so different from hoping their father would come back and do the same. They wanted a miracle."

"Where is their father?"

"No one knows. He's been gone for a while now."

"So they're alone." Roy knew what it was like to be alone. He'd lost his parents when he was their age. It had taken years for him to move on. At least he'd had his aunt to look after him.

"Not quite. My son and his wife and I look after them. It helps that they're so self-sufficient. Smart boys, those two."

Smart, yes, but still so young. Would they be alright on their own?

"What should I do?"

The old woman seemed startled by his question. "Whatever you want to do, boy. Don't think Trisha sent for you because she wanted something out of you. She just wanted to see you. That's all. If you feel the need to do more, that's your choice. But those boys have been just fine without you and they'll go on being just fine if you leave tomorrow and never come back."

She was right. He could go. He had no reason to stay. He couldn't stay actually. He was a soldier now. He had a job to do in Central and he couldn't bring the boys with him either. He wouldn't know the first thing about raising two kids and he wouldn't be around enough anyway. He didn't really owe them anything. He could just go.

But… they were his brothers. _Half-brothers_, Edward's words rang in his mind. The boy already seemed to hate him for not coming sooner – though his explanation seemed to have quelled that storm a bit. As for Alphonse, his hope was written plainly in his eyes and the same was reflected beneath Edward's fire. They wanted him to stay. They wanted someone they could call family even if he was only just. They'd already lost so much. Their father had walked out on them and their mother had died. Sure they'd been fine on their own, with the Rockbell's to support them, but could he really just walk into their lives and then walk back out without a backward glance.

"They'll hate me."

"Most likely." The old lady agreed readily. "But what does it matter if two kids from Resembool hate you? You're a soldier aren't you?" She made no effort to disguise her hatred of the military. "Bet you've got big plans for yourself. Setting your sights high, no doubt. You'll be making a lot of enemies on that path. Might as well start somewhere."

Her words rang true in Mustang's heart. Little did she know that he'd already started – Master Hawkeye had died hating him for the choices he had made. There was nothing Roy could do about that – no way to make amends now that the man was gone and nothing he could have done anyway, aside from leaving the military which Roy refused to do.

But these boys… they didn't have to hate him. There was no reason for it. He didn't want them to.

He couldn't do much – couldn't take them with him or stay here with them – but he would do whatever little bit he could to make sure that Edward and Alphonse knew they still had family in the world. It was only right. Trisha Elric had done all she could to give Roy a good life and now it was time for him to return the favor and do what he could for her other sons – equivalent exchange.

"They're my brothers," was the only reply he gave to Pinako Rockbell.

* * *

"We don't want your pity money." Edward was scowling again. Roy didn't think there was anything he could do to make the boy trust him.

"It's not that. You're my brothers –"

"Half!"

"Yes, half-brothers, and I want to make sure that you are provided for."

"You don't owe us anything!"

"Brother, just let him." Alphonse muttered.

"No, Al. I don't want to be in his debt. He'll just find a way to make us owe him later on."

"You don't know that…"

"It's not for you," Roy cut in. It made no sense to let the boys keep arguing amongst themselves as though he wasn't there. "It's for Trisha, your mother – _our _mother."

Edward scowled. "She wasn't your mother. You didn't even –"

"You're right. I didn't know her. I wish I had. From what I've heard, she was a wonderful person. But the fact remains that I am in her debt. She made sure that I was provided for and now I am returning the favor for you two."

"Well, I'm saying that you don't have to."

"I want to."

"If you really wanted to take care of us, you'd stay here."

There it was – what they really wanted, a family member who wouldn't leave them.

"I can't stay. I have a job in Central. And I can't take you with me either," he added just to clear that up, although he didn't think the boys would be willing to leave Resembool anyway. He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "Look, you don't want to stay with me. I'm… I don't like kids. Wouldn't know the first thing about parenting and I'm a terrible cook. Besides, my job doesn't let me have much time off. I'll never be around anyway. You're better off staying here with the Rockbell's."

"So, why bother with the money? We don't need it."

"Because I… are you always this frustrating?" Roy wanted to tear his hair out from their circular argument. Edward just smirked. That was something at least – the first almost-smile he'd gotten from the boy. "I'm sending the money whether you want it or not, end of story. Put it in savings or give it away if you don't want to use it. I don't care."

The smirk vanished, replaced by a sad frown as he turned to look at Alphonse. "See, Al. I told you."

Roy wasn't sure what he meant by that but both boys seemed to wilt under the affirmation of whatever Edward had previously told his younger brother. "What do you expect from me?" he wondered out loud. "I only just met you this morning. I didn't even know you existed. How can you –"

"That's just it, Big Brother. We don't expect anything."

The familial term cut through Roy's chest like a knife. No one had ever called him that before and, disregarding Edward's glare of disapproval, Alphonse seemed sincere in addressing him that way.

Edward and Alphonse seemed to argue a lot and compete in everything they did – just a few moments of watching them play with the Rockbell girl had confirmed that. But their love and devotion to each other was clear. Either of them would do anything for the other. They were brothers in every sense of the word.

Roy had never had a brother. The only person who could come close to claiming that title was Maes Hughes, his best friend from the Academy. But even that wasn't the same. Yet here, Alphonse was calling him by that name and claiming him as their own. Could he really live up to that title? Could he be the big brother they wanted him to be?

He didn't even know how to start. He barely knew the boys. But something inside of him was screaming for him to try.

"Look… I'm not just gonna disappear, alright?" He threw it out there and even Edward seemed to latch on to the hope imbued by those words. "I'm not just gonna be some random check in the mail every month. I don't get a lot of time off with my job but when I do, I'll come visit. And I'll call and write when I can't. What do you say? Will you write me back?"

"Yeah."Alphonse answered immediately, a small smile blossoming on his face.

"Edward?... Ed?" That's what he seemed to go by most often. "What about you?"

The boy hesitated, arms crossed over his chest and still glaring, but the look was spoiled by the cautious hope filling his eyes. "Okay, fine." Roy almost laughed at the disgruntled and exasperated response.

"Alright then." He took out his check book and a pen. "This won't be much – enlisted-men's pay is pretty low – but once I get my State Certification I'll be bumped up to an officer's salary and I'll be able to send more."

"State Certifi – wait! Roy, are you a State Alchemist?"

Roy blinked, surprised to hear Ed say his name without any bite and, also, to see all of the boy's suspicion and animosity replaced by curiosity and excitement. Alphonse was right by his side, echoing Ed's looks of anticipation.

"I'm… going to be." He replied slowly. "That's the plan anyway."

"Awesome!"

"Neat!"

"What kinds of alchemy do you use?"

"Do you have any favorite elements?"

"Can you show us any cool transmutations?

"How long have you been studying?

"Wait, wait! Slow down!"

Roy blinked again. They were smiling – beaming really – both of them. It was like he'd flipped a switch and they were two completely different kids.

"You… boys really like alchemy, don't you?"

"Yeah!" They said together.

Roy smirked. "Guess it runs in the family. I wouldn't be surprised if you two have some untapped talent of your own. You could be alchemists too, one day, if you work hard and put your minds to it.

Ed and Al shared a knowing smile. Then, as one, they reached into their pockets, took out two small pieces of chalk and knelt down to start drawing on the floor.

"Wait, what are you…" Roy trailed off and watched in amazement as the five and six year olds drew a perfect transmutation circle on their living room floor. When it was finished, they nodded and simultaneously pressed their fingers on the edges of the circle. There was a flash of alchemic lightening and then a small wooden train rested on the floor between the grinning boys.

Roy knelt beside them and touched the flawless product. It wasn't particularly complex but, at their age, work like this was nothing short of incredible.

"This is… how… did Trisha teach you?" Perhaps that was where his own talent had sprung from after all.

"What? No. Mom didn't know anything about alchemy." Ed replied. So much for that theory.

"We learned from Dad's books." Al added.

"You're father was an alchemist?"

"Yeah, but he never taught us anything. We learned it ourselves." It wasn't hard to hear the animosity Ed felt towards his father. It wasn't all that different from the hatred he had displayed upon first meeting Roy.

But to think that they were self-taught – that they had learned to do this much themselves just by reading. And at their age… they had to be prodigies. He had a couple of little geniuses on his hands here. The wheels in his head started turning. Imagine what they'd be able to do in the future. If only they were older – alchemists with this kind of talent could be a great benefit to the State. And he'd certainly earn a lot of recognition for finding them…

No! He stopped that train of thought. These were his brothers. He'd already promised that he wouldn't try to use them for his own gain. But… but if they were interested… he'd make sure the doors were opened for them. Then maybe the pieces would fall into place all on their own.

"Well, this is excellent work, boys."

"Really?"

"You're not just saying that because you're our half-brother and you think you have to?"

Their astonishment gave Roy the impression that they hadn't ever shown their work to another alchemist before. Another factor pointing towards genius – they'd never been critiqued by a master of the science and had still come so far.

"No, I mean it." He held up the train. "This is incredible. I didn't do my first transmutation until I was ten. Most are older than that when they start. You two have a bright future ahead of you."

Their answering smiles made Roy start to think that maybe this whole "older brother" thing wouldn't be so bad.

* * *

1906

A silver pocket watch gleamed in the sunlight as Roy Mustang, the newly named Flame Alchemist, exited Central command.

He'd done it. He'd finally achieved his goal and was now positioned to help make the world a better place. With the rank of Major and all of the perks that went with it, he could do so much now. But the success felt empty somehow.

He wanted to tell someone, to share the good news. But who? Maes Hughes would be ideal – but he hadn't seen his old friend since graduation.

Riza Hawkeye… no, that wouldn't do, considering… she'd given him this gift and they'd parted ways. He wouldn't keep dragging her into his life. He didn't even know where she was now anyway.

There was always Madame Christmas but she'd just hand him a drink and nod along while he spoke. She supported him, sure, but she'd never bothered to try and understand his work. Besides, he didn't really want to deal with the girls at the moment. They were great fun at times but they'd be more interested in admiring the new stars on his uniform than listening to him talk about alchemy

What he really wanted now was some intellectual conversation with someone who could truly understand and appreciate his accomplishment.

When he realized who he wanted to see, he made an abrupt turn on his heal and headed for the train station. He wouldn't receive his first assignment until next week and he had promised to visit them, after all.

* * *

"Roy!"

"Hello, Al. How have you been?"

"Great. Brother!" The boy turned and called into the house. "Big Brother Roy is here!" He smiled warmly and opened the door wider. "Come on in."

Roy followed Alphonse into the house and stopped to take a look around. Nothing had changed since his first visit – a bit dustier maybe but that was to be expected when two boys lived alone. At least it wasn't a mess and nothing appeared to be broken. He assumed the Rockbell's played a big part in keeping the place clean.

"What's with the uniform?"

Ed leaned against the stairwell, with the same surly countenance Roy had gotten used to seeing before. "What no, 'Big Brother Roy' from you, Ed."

The kid made a face like he'd tasted something sour. "Half-brother."

"You're attention to detail is astounding."

"I like facts."

"Apparently."

"You haven't answered my question."

"Brother, don't be rude."

"I'm not! He's the one being rude by refusing to answer me."

"What was the question?"

"What's. With. The. Uniform?"

Roy smirked. Messing with Ed was kind of fun. "Do you boys want some ice cream? My treat."

"Yeah!"

"Hey! Aren't you going to answer me?"

"Later – ice cream first."

"I don't want to know later. I want to know now."

"Your patience is a bit short there, isn't it Ed?"

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A PINT-SIZED MIDGET!"

"He didn't say that, Brother."

Roy's eyebrows rose up past his hairline at the unexpected reaction. Then he smirked. "Now that you mention it… aren't you a bit small for your age, Ed? I thought you were supposed to be the older one."

That set him off again and Roy nearly doubled over in muffled laughter. He had to admit, being an older brother had its perks.

* * *

"Flame Alchemist, huh? That's pretty cool." Ed said around a mouthful of ice cream.

"Every State Alchemist gets a nickname, right?"

"That's right."

"Do you know any of the others?"

"Well, there's Alex Armstrong, the Strong Arm Alchemist – he was appointed his certification along with me. Then there's the Iron Blood Alchemist, Basque Grand. There's a lot more but I haven't met them all."

"Is it true that the pocket watch is an alchemic amplifier?"

"No, that's just a rumor. The watch only proves that I'm a genuine State Alchemist."

"What are these gloves made out of?"

"Ignition cloth."

"Oh! So you make a spark by…"

"Snapping."

"Then you use alchemy to alter the oxygen content in the air and FLASH!"

"Yeah, it's not as easy as it sounds."

"Of course not. Gasses move around too much. You have to focus on keeping the molecules in one place before you can actually use them in a transmutation."

"Solids are so much easier."

"Even liquid is easier than gas. How did you learn it, Roy?"

"I had an excellent teacher."

He took another bite of ice cream as the boys paused in their questions to devour some more of their own. He was glad he'd come. It felt nice to talk to someone who was just as enthusiastic about alchemy as he was, even if they were less than half his age.

* * *

1907

"Why not?" Ed's voice carried through the phone, loud enough that other soldiers in the office were giving him strange looks.

"I'm too busy, Ed. You know that." It was true – he'd had no idea that being a State Alchemist required so much paperwork. He shoved one form into the finished stack and reached for another.

"But you're the only other alchemist we know. And you're our brother; it makes sense for you to teach us."

"Are we dropping the 'half' now?"

"Shut up. You know what I mean."

"Why do you need a teacher, all of a sudden?"

"There's only so much we can learn on our own. We've studied all the books here and mastered everything except the most advanced stuff. We've hit a few road blocks and need a teacher to help us get past them – someone who really knows what he's doing. You're a State Alchemist. You can…"

"I can't, Ed. To be your teacher, I'd either have to spend all of my time in Resembool or you boys would have to move here."

"We can –"

"No. That's not an option right now. I don't have enough room for two boys in my apartment and, again, I'm too busy." Roy sighed heavily and rubbed at the kink that was forming in his neck. "Listen, Ed. You're eight years old and your brother is seven. You have all the time in the world. Why not just take a break from alchemy and learn a sport or an instrument or something? At least pretend to be normal kids for a while?"

"No! This is what we want to do, Roy! It's all we want to do. Why can't you help us?"

"I already answered that question. I'm too –"

"Right, too busy. I get it. You're always too busy for us. I should have known better than to think you'd actually be there when we need you. You weren't here when Mom died and you're not here now."

"Ed –"

A dial tone rang through the line and Roy slammed the phone down. A quick glare at the rest of the room had everyone minding their own business again.

What was wrong with that kid? Why was he doing this now – calling him at work like it was some emergency and then asking, no, demanding that Roy become their teacher? They were kids! They didn't need a teacher. They needed to be out having fun with other kids, not cooped up all summer, learning alchemy.

And then trying to make him feel guilty for saying no… Hadn't he held up his end of the bargain? He sent them money. He wrote. He called. He visited when he could. He thought he'd been pretty consistent in being there for them. He'd already given so much more than even they'd expected.

He liked those boys a lot – dare he say he even loved them? – but he had plans, dreams and goals, which could not be put on hold just because some long lost mother, he hadn't even known he had, died and left him with two half-brothers who expected far too much.

He felt bad for it. He did. But Ed and Al had started out knowing that they were on their own. Somehow, they'd come to rely on him anyway and maybe that was his fault. Maybe he'd allowed too much. But he had to draw the line somewhere. They would learn. And hopefully they wouldn't hate him too much.

* * *

1908

Resembool was their last stop before moving on into Ishval and Roy was glad. He'd been meaning to tell the boys – although they probably already knew – but he wanted to do so in person and to see them one last time before he left.

Things had been… tense between them since the whole 'teacher' argument. Roy hadn't had a chance to visit and phone calls had been few and far between. After a few more attempts on Ed's part to get Roy to agree, the boy had stopped answering the phone when he called and only Al was responding to his letters.

Now he was off to Ishval. He wanted to make amends with his brothers before then.

Al was easy enough to find. He had come out to the road where the caravan was stopped and was waiting there when Roy hopped off the back of his truck.

"Where's your brother?"

"Down by the river. He didn't want to come." Al sounded upset and Roy wondered if the boys had fought about it.

"You knew I'd be here?"

He shrugged. "We figured you would. We heard all of the State Alchemists were being deployed and the military always stops in Resembool before going to Ishval."

"I know. I was hoping to see you boys while I was here. I won't be back for a while. Probably won't be able to call either. You'll write, won't you?"

Al nodded but looked down at his feet. "I will. I can't speak for Brother, though."

"Yeah… I'll have to see if I can find him before we leave." He looked out over the hills, in the direction of the river. He had a pretty good idea of where Ed would be.

"Roy?"

Roy started at the sound of Al's voice – so meek and sad, with none of the confidence he was used to hearing. And when he looked... those were tears dripping from his chin.

"Al? What's wrong?"

"I… I don't want you to go." His voice broke over a sob.

"Oh…" Roy breathed. He hadn't expected this. He wasn't sure how to respond. "Al… hey, don't…"

Al rushed forward suddenly and Roy caught him against his chest. The boy's whole body shook with sobs in the arms of a State Alchemist. Roy didn't know what to do. He'd never… They'd grown closer over the past few years but physical affection had been limited to playful shoves and head rubs. Not that this could really count as a hug…

It wasn't so much that it was uncomfortable. Roy just didn't want to overstep his bounds. He didn't want these boys to become any more attached to him than they already were.

"Winry's parents are leaving too." Al sniffled and hiccupped through his words. "She's really scared that something is going to happen to them. And they're just doctors. They won't be fighting but they could still get hurt. You're going to be in the middle of it all. What if something happens? What if you don't come back?"

"Al. Listen to me." He push the boy away, just enough to see his face. Apparently it was too late to keep Ed and Al from getting hurt. They were already too attached. He never should have let them… but it was too late for that now. "I have to go, Al. You know that. This is my job. The war will spread if we don't stop it. It'll come to Resembool first. You and Ed and the Rockbell's will be in danger. I can't let that happen. We're going to stop the ones who are doing this and then we'll come home and the world will be a better place. And yes, there is a chance I might get hurt. There is a chance I might not come back at all." Al sobbed and Roy gave him a little shake. "Stop it. You're stronger than this Alphonse. You and Ed are strong together. You don't need me. You've never needed me. No matter what happens, you'll have each other. You just take care of your brother and let him take care of you. Understand?"

The boy sniffed and wiped his nose on his sleeve, then nodded once before burying his face against Roy's chest again. The embrace felt more natural this time.

"Just promise you try to come home safe." Al's voice sounded muffled against Roy's coat.

"I promise I'll try."

"I love you, Big Brother Roy."

Roy's chest hurt but he held the boy a little tighter. "I love you, too, Little Brother."

* * *

"I thought I might find you here."

Roy sat next to Ed on the river bank. The boy didn't look at him. He just continued to stare out across the river with his knees tucked up to his chest. For several, long minutes they sat in silence.

"You knew, didn't you?" Ed finally asked. "You knew you were going to war. That's why you said no."

Roy sighed. "I knew there was a strong possibility. There's been talk about sending the Alchemists for awhile now. Beyond that… I've been tied up in Central for months, Ed. This war has been causing a lot of problems. When I said I was busy…"

"You meant it. Yeah, I know."

Silence settled between them again and Roy was amused to see Ed absently drawing transmutation circles in the soil with his finger.

"You're going to be a great alchemist someday, Ed. You and Al, both. You have more talent in your pinky finger than most alchemists have in their whole being."

"Is that a complement, Major Mustang?"

"Don't let it go to your head. My point is that you don't have to rush into this. Take your time. Don't worry about the advanced stuff just yet. Let yourself enjoy the little things. You'll have time to become the best later."

"But there isn't time…" The boy muttered and Roy wasn't sure he was meant to hear but he questioned it anyway.

"What do you mean?"

Ed looked up, startled. "Just… just that – that _now_ we have to worry about replacing all the idiot old geezer alchemist who are gonna get themselves killed in this stupid war."

Roy ignored the deliberate crack at his age (he wasn't that old) and went right to the heart of the matter. "So you are worried."

"Wha-? N-no, I'm not." Ed crossed his arms and turned away. "W-what do I care if you go off and get yourself killed? It's not my problem."

"Ed…"

"I'm not! I'm not worried. I'm just… you… you're the only family Al and I have left, even if you just a good-for-nothing half-brother. And if something happens to you, I don't… I don't think we could get you back."

Roy frowned at the odd turn of phrase but shook it off with a smirk. "That's a strange way of saying I'm irreplaceable but… Thank you?"

"Shut up."

Roy laughed. At least this was familiar ground. "Listen Ed. This won't be so bad. I don't have to tell you that you and Al don't need me. You have each other. That's what matters. But I'll tell you like I told him – I'm going to try my best to come home safely. You can bet, I don't want to die out there."

"Are you scared?"

"A little. No soldier goes into battle without a bit of healthy fear. Fear is what keeps us alive in a lot of cases. It's instinct."

Ed nodded and then frowned sharply. "You're going to have to kill people, aren't you?"

"Most likely. That's part of war, Ed. I'm not afraid to do whatever it takes to protect my country and the people I care about – even if it means killing people. We have to stop the ones causing this war."

"I don't like it."

"I don't blame you. No one should like killing, Ed. If they do, they probably belong in prison. In a war, we do what is necessary. We follow orders and we make the world a better place. It's our duty. It's why I became a State Alchemist."

"I don't think I want to become a State Alchemist… if it means I'll have to kill people."

They'd talked about it before – both boys following in his footsteps. They'd both seemed eager in the past but now… the realities of the world were setting in. It would be a real shame if the State lost such talented alchemists but Roy had already decided not to push them one way or the other. He'd let them make their own decisions.

"You don't have to. But don't rule it out completely. You may change your mind when you're older."

Ed just nodded and looked out over the water. Roy watched him for several moments. The boy was growing up far too quickly. There had always been a certain darkness to his eyes – possibly brought on by their mother's death – but now, it was darker than Roy had ever seen it before. Whatever it was – he didn't like it. He only wished there was something he could do to make them bright again.

"You know, Ed. I was thinking about buying a house after the war. Hazard pay is pretty good so I'll be saving up a lot and things should settle down once this mess is over. Maybe I'll even get a promotion. So, um, no promises but, maybe… when I get back… you and Al could come live with me and I'll teach you what I know about alchemy."

For some reason… that didn't seem to excite Ed as much as Roy thought it would. "Sure… maybe."

"Ed? You'll write to me while I'm gone, won't you? Most of the soldiers get care packets from family but… well, I don't expect you to do all that. Just a letter every now and then would be nice. Let me know how you and Al are doing."

"Yeah… sure."

"Alright." Roy stood up and brushed the grass off his uniform. "I'd better get back to the trucks. We'll be leaving soon."

Ed didn't respond and Roy figured that was all he was going to get from the boy. He turned and started back up the hill.

"Roy." A hand caught his arm and he looked back to see a grim-faced Ed behind him. He waited as the kid seemed to struggle with what to say. "Um… Just… just be careful out there, okay?"

There were a lot more words hidden behind his eyes, words that would never be said. But Roy heard them loud and clear. He reached out and tousled the boy's hair. "You too, Shrimp. Take care of your brother."

"Yeah… HEY! WHO ARE YOU CALLING A SHRIMP? YOU JERK! GET BACK HERE! I'LL KNOCK YOUR TEETH IN!"

Roy laughed and trotted back to the trucks feeling a little lighter than he had before.

* * *

_Dear Ed and Al,_

_I won't horrify you with the details of war. It's not pretty. I'm just glad it's here and not back home. I swear I won't let this reach Resembool. _

_I hope you boys are doing alright and keeping up with your studies. Don't forget to have fun every now and then. Have some ice cream for me – I could really use it out here in the desert._

_-Roy_

* * *

_Dear Roy,_

_Brother and I are doing well. We're still studying alchemy and practicing every day. I'm glad you're alright. _

_Granny Pinako says the State Alchemists are killing lots of people in Resembool. She says they're being used as human weapons. But I'm sure that just anti-war propaganda. Granny has never like the military, but you know that. Brother says that even if you are killing people it's only to save others and to save your own lives. _

_I know you're good, Big Brother. You're doing what's right. Stay safe._

_-Al_

* * *

_Dear Ed and Al,_

_I ran into a few old friends out here – Maes Hughes, from my academy days. I'm sure I've mentioned him. And Riza Hawkeye, my teacher's daughter. No one is quite the same as they used to be though. I'm not the same. War changes things._

_I have to be honest with you. I'm afraid Pinako is more right then you would like to believe. This… this isn't what I thought it would be. I can't back out now though. Hopefully you'll still recognize me when this is over. Then again… I'm not so sure I'll want you to._

_-Roy_

* * *

_Dear Idiot,_

_I don't know what's going on over there but you can't let it change you, okay? You're supposed to change the world – not the other way around. So buck up and keep doing what you have to so you can come home safe and get Al to quit worrying. _

_-Ed_

* * *

_Dear Roy,_

_We just heard from Winry. Her parents… Uncle Urey and Aunt Sara… they're dead. They were killed by an Ishvalan. It doesn't make any sense. They were doctors. They weren't supposed to be anywhere near the fighting. But they were killed anyway. I don't understand._

_-Al_

_Where were you? Why did this happen? You said you would stop the ones who caused this war, so why haven't you stopped them yet? You'd better not die too. I'll kick your ass if you do._

_-Ed_

* * *

_Dear Ed and Al,_

_I'm sorry to hear about the Rockbell's. I'm not sure exactly what happened as I was stationed in a different sector at the time. Doctors usually stay at the base camp unless they are field medics. I don't know what they would have been doing out there. _

_Please give my condolences to Winry and Pinako. I'm sorry this isn't going the way I thought it would. I'm sorry I haven't stopped them yet. _

_I'll try, Ed._

_-Roy_

* * *

"Who are you writing to? I thought you didn't have a sweetheart back home. Or is it your mother?" Maes peered over his shoulder. "Ed and Al? Okay, that is not what I expected."

Roy growled and swiped a hand at his friend. "Go away, Hughes."

"Alright! Alright, I won't read it. But who are they? Friends?"

"My brothers."

"What! You didn't tell me you had siblings, Roy! How did I not know about this?"

"They're… half-brothers and I didn't know about them myself until after the Academy."

"Wow, long lost family, huh? So, we're gonna meet up with them when we get home, right? Go out for a few drinks? I want to know all about them."

"Sure, Hughes. And you can handle the jail time for giving alcohol to minors."

"Wait, what? You mean they're kids? How old are they?"

"Edward is nine. Alphonse is eight."

"Whoa! But… that doesn't make any sense. I thought your folks died when you were five."

"Turns out I was adopted. My… birth mother had Ed and Al much later."

"I see. So do you write to her too or just the kids?"

"You ask too many questions, Hughes. And no. I only write to the boys. Trisha died while we were at the Academy."

"And what does their father think about them conversing with their much older half-sibling."

"I wouldn't know. He left when they were toddlers."

"You mean they're alone?"

"They have neighbors looking after them." Roy winced and scanned the letter he had just written, remembering. Two of those neighbors were gone now. This damned war… couldn't even spare a couple of good hearted doctors.

* * *

_Hey Roy,_

_We found ourselves a teacher so I guess you don't have to worry about teaching us after all. Her name is Izumi Curtis and she's… kind of scary, but she's really good at what she does. She can even do alchemy without a transmutation circle. _

_She's agree to take us for a month-long trial and if we prove ourselves worthy, she'll teach us. Of course, she doesn't know how good we already are. I know we'll pass whatever test she throws at us. We'll be staying with her in Dublith for the duration of our training, so make sure you send your letters there. _

_-Ed_

* * *

_Dear Roy,_

_Our new teacher is… well Brother says she's crazy and I'm inclined to agree. She left us on a deserted island for a month – a whole month! And we weren't allowed to use alchemy! We almost starved to death. And then we figured out the whole "One is all, all is one" thing. After that, it got easier to do what we had to in order to survive – like killing fish and rabbits for food. The fish were easier. They aren't cute and cuddly. I think it was a good experience though. We learned a lot – like how to make a fire and build traps. But it's good to be back in civilization again. _

_Teacher can be very violent at times. She throws knives when she's angry. She has very good aim though so I don't think she'll ever actually hit us. She's teaching us how to fight because "to train the mind, you must first train the body." I actually enjoy sparring with Brother but fighting teacher is painful. _

_-Al_

* * *

_1909_

_Dear Roy,_

_It's been a while. We finished our training and are back in Resembool. I had thought that maybe you forgot to send your letters to Dublith but there weren't any here when we got back either. Is everything alright? Why haven't you written?_

_-Al_

* * *

_Hey Loser,_

_You'd better not be dead. _

_-Ed_

* * *

_Dear Roy,_

_They say the war is ending. Will you be coming home soon? Please be okay._

_-Al_

* * *

Roy sat in the back of the truck and sipped at his water. He knew where they were and he knew who was looking for him. He'd seen them by the roadside when the caravan stopped. He could hear them outside, inquiring about him.

"We're looking for Major Roy Mustang. Have you seen him?"

"Sorry, Kid. Pretty sure he's with the troop but I don't know where he is right now."

At least they knew he was alright.

The canvas on the truck parted and a pair of glasses peered in. "There you are Roy." Hughes… "I heard there were two kids looking for you."

"Did you see them?"

"Not personally. Jake talked to them. Then he asked me if I'd seen you. You know who they are?"

"Ed and Al."

"Your brothers? No way! This is where they live? Why aren't you out there with them?"

Roy just shook his head. "I can't. Not yet. I don't want them to see me like this."

"Like what, Roy? You're alive. You're in one piece. I'm pretty sure that's all they'll care about."

"I still look like a murderer."

"So do I. But that's not going to stop me from seeing my Gracia the moment we get back to Central. Go see the kids, Roy."

"No. And don't you dare tell them I'm here. They've already heard I'm alive. That's enough for now."

"… for a man with such big ambitions, you sure can be a fool sometimes. I won't tell them anything but I still think you're making the wrong choice."

* * *

"Right back to the grindstone, then. You'd think we'd get some leave after the war."

"That's the perks of the promotion, my friend! Where are they sending you?" Roy passed his orders off to Maes. "Ouch! Back to the East, huh? At least you'll be under Grumman. I hear he's a hoot. And hey! You'll be closer to those brothers of yours. You ever gonna go see them?"

"As soon as I get some time off."

"Sheesh. That could be months. You really should have said hi while we were in Resembool."

"Shut up, Hughes."

* * *

1910

"What's so funny, sir?" Hawkeye asked.

Roy wiped a mirthful tear from his eye as he scanned over the paper once more. "Nothing, just… whoever put this list of candidates together really needs to double check their facts."

"I'm not sure I understand."

He pointed out the names at the top of the sheet. "The Elric brothers – Edward and Alphonse. Says here they're in their thirties. Those kids will get a kick out of this."

"Kids, sir?"

"The older one is eleven."

"You know them."

"Yes. They're… my half-brothers."

Few things seemed to surprise Riza Hawkeye. But this small fact actually got a reaction out of her and Roy was pleased to see it. Still, she composed herself quickly.

"I suppose we'll move on to the next then." She reached for the paper, only to have it pulled from her grasp. "Oh no, Lieutenant. I think this one deserves more looking into. I've been meaning to visit them anyway."

"A paid vacation, sir?"

"Don't worry, Hawkeye. I'll still give them the recruitment spiel. They've heard it before. They're used to listening to me talk about the State Alchemy program."

* * *

"Ed? Al?" When no one answered his knocking, Roy let himself in. No one bothered to lock their doors in Resembool. The boys were probably having dinner at the Rockbells, but he figured he'd check the house first, just to be sure. No sense in walking the extra mile if he didn't have to. "Anybody home?"

He was about to turn and leave when he heard it the muffled voices.

"That's Roy… what do we do?"

"We have to do it now, Al. Hurry up."

"Right."

Roy motioned for Hawkeye to stay behind. The boys were home after all… but they were acting strangely and apparently doing something they didn't want him to know about. He quickened his steps when he realized their voices had come from the study, where they practiced alchemy.

"What are they up too?"

He opened the door just as the boys were kneeling, ready to begin the transmutation. It only took a moment for him to read the array and figure out what they were trying to do. He didn't need to know all the details to recognize the taboo. His eyes widened in horror.

"Now, Al!"

"No!"

Alphonse was closest. Roy lunged and grabbed the boy, dragging him away from the circle. He held the struggling child against his chest and watched in dread as Ed activated the circle on his own. "No! Don't! Edward, stop! Get away from there!"

"No! It's going to work!"

"Brother, wait! You can't do it on your own."

Roy couldn't hold Al back and stop Ed at the same time. "Lieutenant!" He called for Hawkeye and she entered the room immediately. But it was too late. Alchemic lightening had already started to swirl throughout the room. Interrupting now could be disastrous. Roy held out a hand for Riza to wait, even as he pulled Al further back, lest they be caught in the transmutation.

"Ed! You need to stop. Don't let it go any further – please!"

"Shut up! It's working!"

"Let me go, Roy! I have to help him." Al continued to struggle against his hold and it was all Roy could do to hold him back.

"No, Al. Don't you get it? You'll be killed!"

Al froze and his eyes darted to Ed in fear, just as the transmutation started to change. The blue glow changed to red and sparks shot out sporadically. Any halfway decent alchemist could tell now – something was very wrong.

"Ed… Brother! Something's wrong!"

Ed's eyes widened as he realized it as well. He looked up at Al, then at Roy and they could read his fear so clearly. There was nothing he could do now. He was too far in. There was no going back. They could only watch in terror as the transmutation ran its course.

"Al?"

Al resumed his struggle suddenly and Roy nearly lost his hold.

"Let go! I have to get to him!"

"No! You'll just be caught in it too!"

"Brother!"

"Sir?"

"Stay back, Lieutenant!"

"Al!"

"Brother!"

"Ed!"

There was a flash of blinding light and then… nothing. Silence. Roy waited a moment, his back still turned to the circle, guarding Al from the transmutation. He blinked into the sudden darkness of the room and peered about.

The first thing he saw… it wasn't human. He stared, repulsed as Al stirred beneath him and tried to worm his way from the confines of Roy's arms. The boy gagged suddenly and seemed to choke on his breath before sound, abruptly, returned to their ears with a keening wail.

"No… no! It's gone! It's gone. It hurts. Please! Help! Help me…"

Roy stood up and passed Alphonse off to Hawkeye. The boy appeared to be in shock, choking on sobs and the horrid scent of decay. He couldn't seem to move on his own. But he could speak and he responded immediately to Ed's cry. "Brother! Brother!"

Stepping around the… thing Ed had created, Roy found the boy lying in a pool of his own blood. His right arm and left leg… were gone – not cut off or severed, just… gone.

That was the last thing Roy clearly remembered for the next few hours. Everything passed by in a sort of blur. He knew that he had wrapped what was left of Ed's limbs in scraps from his own shirt and then carried the boy to Pinako Rockbell's house. At some point Ed had passed out – from pain or blood loss, Roy didn't know. The old woman, thankfully, had not questioned him then. She'd ushered them into their automail surgical bay and seen to properly cleaning and covering the wounds.

In another part of the house, Roy heard Al still calling for his brother. Hawkeye and Winry were tending to him. With any luck, the boy would fall asleep soon.

"What happened, Mustang?" Pinako began once all of the children were asleep. "You're gone for years, first with that damn war and then to who knows where – then you show up, after all this time, only to bring those boys to my door in that condition. What did you do to them?"

"Do not accuse the Lieutenant Colonel. He didn't do –"

"Thank you, Lieutenant. That's enough." While he appreciated her defense, she didn't understand Pinako the way he did. The woman had never liked him – bore a grudge against the military, hated him for letting Ed and Al hope for a family they could never have. And now this. Of course she would blame him. If he had been there… maybe this wouldn't have happened. He could have seen what they were planning and put a stop to it long ago.

In the end, just like with Trisha… he was too late.

* * *

"It's your fault." Ed's words were weak, but filled with more hatred than Roy had ever heard from the boy before. "You never should have come back."

"You're right… it is my fault. But not because I came. Because I didn't come soon enough. I should have been here months ago. I should have come right after Ishval. If I had… maybe I could have stopped this."

"You shouldn't have tried to stop it. It would have worked. It was meant for both of us. If you hadn't stopped Al… it would have worked."

"No, Ed. It wouldn't have. You're not the first alchemist to try this. Older and wiser alchemists have tried… and failed, every time. Why do you think it's a taboo? It doesn't work. You can't bring the dead back to life."

"We can! We figured it out! If you hadn't interrupted –"

"Then Al would have been caught in the transmutation too! You don't seem to care that you lost your arm and leg, Ed! You could have lost more! You could have been killed! And you wanted Al to help you? What would you have him lose, Ed? What would you have him give up to get your mother back?"

Ed didn't respond. Roy hoped that maybe he finally understood.

* * *

It was late. Roy had fallen into an exhausted sleep some time ago but he was startled awake by movement on his bed. He looked up at the small boy sitting next to him.

"Al? What is it?"

"I can't sleep."

"Nightmares?"

He nodded. "I close my eyes and all I can see is that… that thing … and Brother… and all the blood. Is that what war is like?"

Roy blinked at the unexpected question, but then nodded. "Yes, Al. It's a lot like that."

Wind whistled against the house as silence stretched between them.

"We're sorry, Roy… we're sorry. Not just me. Ed is too but he's scared to say it. We didn't mean any harm. We just… we wanted to see her again."

Somehow, it was easy for Roy to draw the boy into his arms. "I know, Al. I know. There isn't a person in the world who doesn't wish for a way to bring someone back. And there isn't an alchemist who hasn't considered it."

"Even you?"

"Even me. But most of us take those warning seriously. I blame myself though. I should have been here."

"Why didn't you come home? Why did you stop writing?"

"Because… I was ashamed of myself. I did terrible things during the war, Al – things I can't even begin to describe. I hated myself for it. I couldn't stand to look at myself in the mirror. And I didn't want you and Ed to see the man I had become. I wanted… to fix it somehow. To make it go away."

"Did you?"

"No… after awhile I realized that there was no way to go back. You can't unchanged yourself… anymore than you can bring the dead back to life. All you can do is keep moving forward and work on changing the future. And I want you boys to be in my future. That's why I came back."

"But what do we do now?"

"The same thing. We keep moving forward and you and I have to set the pace. Ed is going to need our help now more than ever. He'll fight us on it, I'm sure. But maybe fighting us will be the motivation he needs to keep going. What do you say, Al? Can you keep moving forward with me? For Ed?"

"I think so."

"Good. Now let's get some sleep." He lay back on the bed and shut his eyes.

"Roy?"

"Hmm?"

"Can I stay here tonight?"

"Sure… just don't steal my pillow."

The boy lay down next to him and snuggled close.

"Thank you, Big Brother."

"Good night, Little Brother."

* * *

All conversation stopped when Roy entered the room, dressed in his military blues, Lieutenant Hawkeye beside him. They knew. Al looked at the ground. Ed scowled.

"You're leaving." For all that the boy had barely spoken to him since their argument the day before, he couldn't disguise the upset in his voice over this realization.

"I am. I'd stay if I could but I still have a job to do. I'll be back next weekend, though."

"You'll come all the way from Central again? So soon?"

Roy smiled softly at Al's surprise. "I'm stationed in East City now. I'm closer. I'll be able to visit more often." He couldn't tell if those words comforted Ed or not but Al seemed pleased at least. "When I come back, Ed, I'll bring some pamphlets with me and we can look into getting you some good prosthetics."

"Prosthetics." The boy scoffed and turned to look at Winry and Pinako. "I want automail." The girl gasped and the grandmother hummed thoughtfully against her pipe.

"Maybe when you're older, Ed." Roy answered when no one else did. "The procedure is said to be painful and –"

"I don't care about the pain. It can't be worse than what I've already been through. I don't want some peg leg and hook hand. I want the real deal. I want to be able to fight again."

"Fight? Ed, what do you mean?"

"To train the mind, you must first train the body." Al answered, apparently understanding his brother before anyone else did.

"That's right. My muscles are going to atrophy enough as it is. The sooner I get automail, the less time I'll have to spend building my strength back up."

"I still don't think –"

"It's not your choice, Idiot! I'll do what I want. I don't need your permission. Granny will do it, right Granny?"

The old woman hummed again. "I won't lie and say it's going to be easy, Ed. You'll be in near constant pain for months and then off and on for years afterwards. But if you're going to get it anyway, it's best to do it now, before the wounds close."

"Alright, then. We'll do it tomorrow."

"No." Roy cut in. "Saturday. Wait till the weekend. I want to be here."

"Who cares what you want! I'm not waiting."

"Ed…" Winry spoke up quietly. "It'll take a few days to get the ports ready. We don't have anything your size available now so Granny and I will have to make them from scratch. And you should rest up some more while you can."

Ed turned away with a soft sigh. "Fine… Saturday, then."

* * *

The surgery was almost worse to watch than the transmutation had been – if only because it lasted so much longer. Roy stayed by Ed's side the whole time, assisting the Rockbell's where he could, holding Ed still when he needed to, but mostly just sitting there, holding the boy's remaining hand.

Ed had refused, at first, to allow this small comfort. But once they started attaching the nerves, his grip had become like a vice, fingernails digging into Roy's skin. Not once did the older man pull away.

When it was over, the Rockbell's left the room to clean up and rest. But Roy remained with the exhausted boy, intent on staying until he fell asleep. But the pain kept Ed awake, despite the medication he'd been given after they finished. He tossed and turned, gritting his teeth as silent tears rolled down his cheeks.

At some point, he seemed to realize that Roy was still there. "You can go. You don't have to stay here." He ground out the words through his pain.

"Yes, I do."

"Why?"

"Because I should have been here sooner and because… that's what brothers are for."

Ed turned away and another spasm of pain tore through his body. Roy could only watch and wait for him to settle. He barely caught the boy's muttered reply.

"Half-brothers…"

* * *

1911

"We should ask Roy, Brother. He'll know."

"Ask me what?"

"Nothing! What are you still doing here, Idiot?"

"Your terms of endearment are so touching, Ed."

Two months had passed since the surgery. Ed's recovery was going well although the pain still kept him bed-ridden at times. He went outside whenever he could to soak up a little sunshine from his wheelchair.

Roy had kept his promise to visit often – every weekend when he could. But, for all of his efforts, Ed continued to treat him coldly. Whether the boy was still angry about his two-year absence or about the failed transmutation, Roy couldn't say. At least Al was still happy to see him.

"Roy, what do you know about –"

"Shut up, Al! Don't ask him."

"Why not? He has access to the State Libraries. He could find out more information for us."

Roy frowned. "Just what are you boys up to, now?"

"Nothing!"

"We want to learn more about the Philosopher's Stone."

"The Philosopher's Stone? It's a myth."

"See! I told you, he'd say that."

"But what if it isn't, Roy? What if it's real? We could use it to bypass equivalent exchange and get Brother's arm and leg back."

Roy's first instinct was to balk at the very idea of them messing around in that kind of alchemy ever again. And yet… and yet, if it was possible… if the stone did exist… His eyes scanned over the still empty sleeves where Ed's arm and leg should have been. The ports were still healing. They wouldn't attach the automail until later.

It wasn't fair. Ed shouldn't be in this situation. The boy was… he wouldn't say miserable. Ed was stubbornly pressing forward but it was an aimless drive. He didn't have any direction. This Stone business – as much as Ed tried to keep it hidden, there was a fire in his eyes now that had been missing for months. He wanted this. He wanted to find a way to set things right again. And Roy found himself wanting it too.

Maybe it was a wild goose chase… but if it gave Ed motivation to keep moving, who was Roy to stand in their way?

"Is that what you want?"

"It was just a dumb idea."

"Maybe… Maybe not." Ed and Al both looked up at him in confusion. "I don't think the Philosopher's Stone exists. But if it does… I imagine you boys could figure it out. You're smart enough. You're stubborn enough. I won't stop you from looking for it if that's what you want to do. I'll even help you – like Al said, I have access to the State Libraries. I'll what I can find. But in return…"

Ed's eyes narrowed in suspicion. "What?"

"In return… I want you both to promise me that you won't try _anything_ without discussing it with me first. If you do find the Stone or some other way that seems promising, you are to let me know. If it seems safe enough – and doesn't break any laws – we'll try it together."

Ed and Al exchanged glances and had some sort of silent conversation. Then they nodded. "Alright." Ed answered for both of them. "But you can't micromanage us. You have to let us research how and when we want."

"Of course. No sense in trying to _micro_manage someone like you, Ed."

A beat. Roy smirked.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A MOLECULE SO TINY YOU CAN'T SEE WITH A MICROSCOPE?"

* * *

"So you're a colonel now?" Alphonse asked. "What does that mean?"

"It means he gets a fancy new office and a pay raise and a pretty little dragon pin." Ed didn't bother looking up from the book he was reading to answer.

"Sure, Ed. That's all a promotion gets me." Roy rolled his eyes. "It also means I'll be working more. I'm in charge of a whole regiment now and all the paperwork that goes along with them – this on top of my mission to recruit new State Alchemists."

"Does that mean you won't be able to visit as often?"

"Unfortunately, yes. I'll still come whenever I can though."

"Don't know why you bother." Ed mumbled surly from behind his book.

"Believe it or not, Ed, I actually _like_ coming out here to see you boys – well… to see Al anyway. I can't really see you behind those huge books you keep reading."

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A MINISCULE BOOKWORM?"

* * *

Coming back to Central Command for the State Alchemy Exams wasn't supposed to be so stressful. Then again, he was supposed to have found a few candidates to sponsor in taking the exam.

Roy was tired. He'd been scouring the East for months, trying to find even one alchemist skilled enough to pass. But the only halfway decent alchemists to be found in the Eastern region were his own little brothers.

He needed a vacation. As soon as this exam was over, he was going to take a week off in Resembool. He hadn't made it back there in months anyway, thanks to his desperate search. A phone call from Al had informed him that Ed's automail installation had gone well and the boy was already back on his feet and building up his strength. Roy was anxious to see for himself.

"Heya, Roy! Welcome back to Central. It's been awhile."

"Hughes." Roy smiled at his friend. "How are you?"

"I'm great! I'm better than great! I'm going to be a father in less than a month! Could life be anymore splendid?"

Roy was happy for Maes. He really was. But the gushing was rather annoying. He heard the same thing on the phone every other day. It was worse in person. If Roy never saw his friend's wiggly happy dance again in his life, he would die in peace.

"Anyway, enough about me. I hear some congratulations are in store for you, Roy. Finally found those alchemists you were looking for – although, it's a pretty bold move if you ask me. I hope you know what you're doing."

"What are you going on about, Hughes?"

"What do you mean? It's all the talk around HQ – the Flame Alchemist sponsoring two teenage boys to take the State Exam."

Roy faltered in his steps. "Two teenage… but I didn't… what teenage boys?"

"The Elric brothers, of course. Wait, did you really not sponsor them? Then how did they…?"

"Damn it, Hughes! That's Ed and Al!"

"Your brothers? Why would you…?"

"I didn't! Those idiots! What are they up to now?!"

* * *

He couldn't interrupt the exam but he waited outside the doors and confronted the boys the moment they came out. "You forged my signature." He'd figured out that much. They couldn't have gotten in without a letter of sponsorship from a current State Alchemist.

"It wasn't hard." Ed shrugged. "Your signature is chicken scratch. I did it with my left hand." The boy flexed his aforementioned hand, obviously still sore from the written portion of the test.

"What the hell do two think you're doing here?"

"We're going to become State Alchemists, Roy." Al replied.

"That's crazy. You're kids."

"Nowhere does it say you have to be grown up to take the test. Don't worry, _Colonel_, we used you name, so when we pass you'll get all the credit for discovering us. Maybe they'll even give you another promotion."

"That's not… that's not the point. Why are you doing this?"

"We want to keep researching the Philosopher's Stone." Al answered. "You said that most of the books in the library couldn't be check out. You have to be a State Alchemist to gain access but you been too busy to do the research for us. We don't want to keep asking more of you so we've decided to do it on our own. You've always said we have what it takes to become State Alchemists. So now we're going to try for it."

"I meant when you were older. Do you even know what becoming a State Alchemist means? It's not just about library access and research grants. It's –"

"We know. In times of national emergency, we'll be required to serve the military. They'll use us as human weapons and make us do horrible thing like they did with you in Ishval."

"Exactly. So why would you –"

"I don't care. I need to do this. I made a stupid mistake and I need to fix it. This is the only way."

"And I'm going to help." Al added. Ed gave his brother a look which indicated that he wasn't exactly pleased with Al following him, but he said nothing in reply. They'd probably argued about it many times already.

Roy sighed heavily. "I can't stop you, can I? Alright, then. How do you think you did on the test?" They were already in over their heads – he might as well support them however he could.

* * *

Ed's actions during the practical exam were gutsy and foolish. But they certainly earned him some attention.

"How did you do it - the transmutation without a circle?"

Ed shrugged. "I guess it's because of what I did. I saw… something and now I can do this." He clapped his hands and transmuted the plate on his automail forearm into a blade – then again to change it back.

Al's exam was far more elegant but almost equally impressive. He drew a complex circle, in less than fifteen seconds, which didn't seem to do anything at first. As the alchemic lightening died down, the guards looked around for a result. One stepped to the side, ostensibly trying to see behind the boy, but the moment he moved, the floor reacted, wrapping itself upward, around the poor man's legs. The other guards moved to help, or jumped in surprise, only to find themselves ensnared as well. The young boy smiled and calmly approached their Fuhrer, along a path of unaffected floor, and bowed to signal the end of his demonstration.

* * *

"So it was a trap, right?"

"Yeah, like the ones we made on Yock Island but better because I could use alchemy this time. I just changed the cohesion and adhesion levels of the stone and let capillary action run its course. By changing the viscosity as well, I made it impossible for them to break free by force."

"So cool!"

"I love how you two talk about changing complex scientific properties as though it were child's play." Roy walked into the office where his little brothers had been waiting.

"Did you get the get the results?" Ed reached for the envelope in his hand but Roy held it high, out of the boy's reach.

"A little _short_ on patience today, aren't you, Ed?"

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT –"

"Brother, stop! You'll just make him take longer."

So they were both anxious to find out. Roy smiled and sat behind the desk he'd been given to use while in Central. He waited for the boys to settle themselves and then took another moment to look over them both.

Al had grown quite a bit in the past few months and now stood an inch taller than Ed. Of course, the older boy's growth had probably been delayed due to the stress of losing his limbs and undergoing automail surgery. He'd catch up eventually.

Ed's hair was longer now and pulled back into a low braid but he somehow managed to make it look good. As for the automail, Roy had already seen the boys sparring a bit and was impressed with how far Ed had come in such a short time. His little brother's really were nothing short of amazing.

They were also nothing short of impatient.

"Come on, Roy. Tell us how we did."

"Alright, alright." He handed the envelope over to Ed who tore it open eagerly. "You boys had better not regret this."

There was a certificate for each of them. "We made it! We both made it!" Al smiled and read his letter. "I'm… the Quickstone Alchemist. Like quicksand! That works – I should have expected something like that after what I did in the exam. What about you, Brother?"

"Fullmetal…" he grinned wickedly. "I like it."

* * *

They traveled back to East City together. Since Roy had "discovered" the new State Alchemists, they would be placed under his command. That was good. He didn't want some other higher ups to try and use his little brothers for their own dirty causes. Of course, the official military records did not show the familial connection between Mustang and the Elric brothers. That was good too.

His team was confused, at first, that two kids would be joining them. Hawkeye already knew of course but the others clearly thought he was crazy. They would warm up to the idea eventually. Roy was already dreading the bad habits his men might teach the boys… and the ones Ed might teach his men.

They stayed late in the office that first night. Roy had paperwork to catch up on and the boys had their first rounds of paperwork to fill out for their personnel files. Al completed his forms first and then offered to finish up for Ed. Writing with his left hand was still difficult.

Ed stood up and stretched, shaking the kinks out of his hand while Al took over.

"Hey, Roy."

"You should call me 'Colonel' or 'Sir' while we're at work, Fullmetal."

"Yeah, whatever, _Flame_. Anyway, where are we staying tonight? Do we get rooms in the barracks or do we have to find a hotel?"

Roy looked up from his work in surprise. "Neither. I thought I told you. I bought a house, Ed. There's more than enough room for you and Al to stay with me. I already have a room set up and everything."

"Really, Roy – I mean, Colonel? We can live with you?"

Al seemed excited at least. Ed just looked skeptical. "How could it be set up already? You didn't know we were gonna take the exam."

"No… I didn't. But I'm pretty sure I mentioned bringing you boys to live with me after the war, back before Ishval. I've been getting things set up for months now. Figured I'd offer the invitation once your rehabilitation was complete. You two jumped the gun by going to Central to take the Exam."

"Oh… right. I didn't think you still wanted to do that."

"Well, I do. So… you almost done with that, Quickstone?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah. I'm… finished! Just come sign this, Brother."

* * *

"Won't people think it's weird for you to have two subordinates living with you?" Ed asked as they walked through the streets of East City, towards Roy's house.

"No more weird than it would be to have two teenage boys living at the dorms."

"Okay, I see your point."

"Don't be so skeptical, Brother. This will be fun. All three of us living together – we'll be like a real family."

Ed didn't respond to Al's enthusiasm. He was quiet for the rest of the trip while Al continued to babble on about things they could do and places they could visit together – as though they hadn't just signed their lives away to the military.

"This is it." They stopped in front of Roy's house and the boys waited for him to open the door.

"Wow, this is a nice place, Roy!" Al looked around, smiling.

"There's a full library with my own collection of alchemy books and a lab downstairs in the basement. Bedrooms are upstairs – one for each of you or you can share if you like. Go check it out."

Alphonse didn't wait; he took the stairs two at a time.

"Ed? Come on in." The boy was still lingering by the door. He looked… melancholy. "What's wrong?"

Ed shook his head but then took a deep breath and tried to answer or, rather, ask a question of his own. "Why are you doing this, Roy?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean… this isn't just about Mom anymore. She never would have expected this much. She never expected anything from you. You did it all on your own. You sent us money. You visited. You wrote. You called. You didn't have to do any of that but you did. You said you were paying her back because you owed her for giving you to a good home, but you lost your parents, didn't you? You only had them for five years. Well it's been over five years for us now – that's equivalent isn't it? And yet you keep doing more. You saved Al from that stupid transmutation. You tried to save me too. And don't think I don't realize that you paid Granny Pinako for my automail. I thought that giving you credit for 'discovering' us would help pay you back for that – that we'd be even. But now you're letting us into your house, giving us a place to stay – a real home. You keep giving more and more and I don't know how I can keep paying you back. So you have to stop, okay? Just stop."

"Ed… you idiot."

Ed gasped and lifted his head to glare at Roy. It wasn't very convincing though, considering the glimmer of tears in his eyes and it lost all of its heat when he saw Roy's soft smile.

"This isn't about equivalent exchange. I'll admit, when I first met you, I was only concerned with repaying my debt. You were my brothers in name only and I felt that I had to do something for you. But you were right back then. I didn't care – not really.

"But watching you grow, seeing your strength and your courage, sharing so many experiences with you boys… I've never had siblings before, Ed. I didn't know what I was doing at first. But something changed and by the time I went away to Ishval, I was already… well, let's just say that saying goodbye to you boys was one of the hardest things I've ever done. And when it was over, the only reason I didn't come back right away was because I couldn't bear to let you see what I had become. I've never been as scared as I was that day, when I came back. I thought I was going to lose you. And it would have been my fault too – for staying away so long. I won't make that same mistake twice.

"I want to be here for you boys, whenever you need me. I'll teach you, I'll help you, I'll support you – whatever you need. Not because I have to. Because I want to. Al said it earlier. We're a family now – a real family."

"And that's what families do." Ed and Roy turned to see Al standing close by, neither of them sure when the other boy had come back downstairs.

Roy smiled and put a hand on each of his brother's shoulders. "That's what brothers do."

Al stepped closer and wrapped one arm around Roy, reaching for Ed with the other. Ed hesitated but finally smirked and joined in the group hug.

"Half-brothers."

* * *

**A.N. **So, that ended up being a lot longer than I had planned. Originally, I was going to keep the plot the same and have Roy arrive after the transmutation, leaving Al in the armor as per canon. But I felt like the story would have just become a reiteration of scenes after that. I wanted to do something different and this gave Roy a more significant role in the story. Plus, now Al can be a State Alchemist too.

I had a lot of fun coming up with his code name. I didn't want to use a 'soul' nickname, like I've seen so often. He never had his soul bound so it wouldn't make sense in this universe. I had to think about what kind of alchemy he would do for his test and then come up with a name that would fit. I was playing with the word 'snare' for awhile but could think of anything that sounded cool enough (other than 'devil's snare' or 'spider snare' and neither of those are very Al-like). He was actually going to be the Quicksand Alchemist for awhile. I didn't really like it, but I couldn't come up with anything better. Quickstone came to me at the last second and it stuck.

I tried very hard to follow the official FMA timeline here but there was one thing that had to be different for this to work and that was Trisha Elric's birth year. For the sake of this story, she was born in 1870 instead of 1878. She really needed to be at least fifteen by 1985 – I couldn't let her be younger. The 'desert raiders' explanation is vague but it gets the point across to Roy. If you don't understand, you probably shouldn't be reading this story – it is rated T. I didn't want to go into any more detail on that.

From this point on, the story would probably continue on a close to canon path, with the obvious changes factored in. I highly doubt there will ever be a sequel to this. It was a lot of fun to write and I hope you enjoyed reading.


End file.
